What to Gather Before You Book Respite Care

Start with these documents and decisions

Before you contact a respite care provider or program, gather the specific information about the person you're arranging care for and your situation. Having this ready means you won't have to call back multiple times, and providers can tell you right away whether they can help. Most of what you need is already in your home — medical records, insurance cards, a list of medications — but some requires you to think through what kind of care actually fits your life.

This checklist walks you through what to collect and what to decide before that first conversation. It's organized by category so you can work through it in whatever order makes sense for you.

Key Takeaways

• Gather the care recipient's medical records, current medications with dosages, insurance information, and emergency contacts before contacting providers.
• Write down the specific care tasks that need to happen during respite — bathing, medication management, mobility assistance, meal prep — so providers know whether they can deliver what you need.
• Know your schedule: how many hours per week, which days, how far in advance you can plan, and whether you need backup care on short notice.
• Collect information about the care recipient's routines, preferences, and any behavioral or medical needs that affect how care is delivered.
• Check your insurance coverage and out-of-pocket budget before you narrow down options, because cost structures vary widely between programs.

Medical and health information to have ready

Providers need to know what they're managing medically. Start with a current list of all medications the person takes — brand name and generic name, dosage, how often, and what it treats. Include over-the-counter medications, supplements, and inhalers. If the person has had recent hospitalizations, surgeries, or diagnoses, have those dates and the names of the conditions. Providers will ask about allergies (food, medication, environmental) and any reactions the person has had.

Bring or be ready to describe any medical equipment the person uses: oxygen, a feeding tube, a catheter, a walker, a wheelchair, a hospital bed. If the person has a primary care doctor, write down their name, phone number, and the clinic or hospital where they practice. Many providers will want to contact the doctor to understand the person's current health status. If the care recipient has a care plan from a hospital, hospice, or home health agency, have that available — it often contains information you might forget to mention.

Write down any conditions that affect how care is given: seizures, diabetes, heart problems, dementia, behavioral changes, or pain that requires specific management. Note what the person can and cannot do physically — can they walk, transfer from bed to chair, use the bathroom independently, feed themselves. Providers use this to know whether they have the right staff and training.

Insurance, payment, and budget information

Before you call providers, know what your insurance covers. Call your insurance company or check your member portal and ask specifically: Does the plan cover respite care? If yes, is it limited to certain types (in-home, adult day programs, facility-based)? What is the copay or coinsurance? Is there a deductible? Do I need a referral from a doctor? Some insurance plans cover respite only if it's prescribed by a physician or ordered through a home health agency, while others don't cover it at all.

Ask whether Medicaid covers respite in your state, and if so, whether the care recipient's Medicaid may be able to access is active. Medicaid respite varies enormously by state — some states fund it generously, others offer it only through specific programs. Your state Medicaid office or a local Area Agency on Aging can tell you what's available where you live.

Decide on your budget for out-of-pocket costs. Respite care costs range from nothing (if you use a state-funded program) to $20 to $30 per hour for in-home care, or $50 to $150 per day for adult day programs, depending on where you live and what services are included. Knowing your limit helps you rule out options that won't work financially.

The care recipient's daily routine and preferences

Write down what a typical day looks like: what time the person wakes up, eats meals, takes medications, naps, goes to bed. Note any activities the person does regularly — physical therapy, a hobby, a favorite TV show, time outside. Providers use this to keep the day as normal as possible and to know what to expect.

List any preferences or habits that matter to the person: how they like to be addressed, whether they prefer male or female caregivers, whether they like quiet or company, whether they have a comfort object or pet. Write down what the person finds calming if they become upset or confused — music, a particular person's voice, a walk, a specific activity.

If the care recipient has dementia, cognitive decline, or behavioral changes, describe what that looks like: Does the person get confused about time or place? Become agitated in certain situations? Wander? Refuse care? Providers need to know this so they can prepare and so they know whether they have experience with that kind of care.

Your schedule and respite needs

Be specific about when you need respite and how often. Do you need a few hours one afternoon a week? Full days on weekends? Overnight care? A week-long break once a year? Write down the days and times that work for you, and whether those are fixed (every Tuesday and Thursday) or flexible (whenever you can arrange it). Providers have different availability, and knowing your pattern helps them tell you whether they can meet it.

Think about how much notice you can give. Some respite programs need to schedule weeks in advance. Others can accommodate requests with a few days' notice. If you sometimes need emergency respite on short notice — because you're sick, have a crisis, or simply can't manage that day — say that. Some providers offer this; others don't. Knowing what you need helps you find the right fit.

Write down whether you need backup care — a second provider or program you can call if your first choice isn't available. This matters if respite is part of your regular routine and you're counting on it to work.

Emergency contacts and decision-making information

List at least two emergency contacts — people the provider should call if something goes wrong and they can't reach you. Include their relationship to the care recipient, phone numbers, and whether they're authorized to make medical decisions if you're not available. If the care recipient has a healthcare proxy, power of attorney, or living will, let the provider know and have copies available.

Write down any restrictions on what providers can do: Can they take the person outside the home? Can they give over-the-counter medications? Can they use the person's phone or computer? Are there rooms in the house that are off-limits? Providers need to know these boundaries before they start.

If the care recipient has a DNR (do not resuscitate) order or other end-of-life instructions, make sure the provider knows and has a copy. This is critical information that affects how they respond in an emergency.

Questions to ask providers when you contact them

Once you have this information gathered, you're ready to call providers and ask the questions that matter. Ask whether they have experience with the specific condition or care need you're managing. Ask what training their staff have and whether they're certified (as a nursing assistant, for example). Ask how they handle medical tasks — do they give medications, manage feeding tubes, monitor blood sugar. Ask what happens if the care recipient has a medical emergency while they're there.

Ask about their cancellation policy. If you schedule respite and then don't need it, can you cancel without penalty? If they cancel on you, how much notice do they give? Ask how they communicate with you — do they call, text, email, or use an app to update you on how the day went. Ask whether they're available for the specific days and times you need, and what their wait list looks like if they're not available right now.

Ask about their rates and what's included. Some programs charge by the hour, others by the day. Some include meals and activities; others don't. Ask whether there are additional fees for travel, for care after hours, or for specialized tasks. Ask how you pay — do you invoice them, do they bill your insurance, do you pay upfront.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need a doctor's referral to book respite care?

It depends on the program. Some respite programs, especially those funded by Medicaid or run through home health agencies, require a doctor's order. Others — private agencies, adult day programs, some nonprofit organizations — don't. When you contact a provider, ask whether they need a referral and, if so, what form your doctor needs to complete.

What if the care recipient won't cooperate with the respite provider?

Tell the provider about this during your first conversation, not after they arrive. Describe what the person does — refuse care, become upset, try to leave — and what has worked in the past to help them cooperate. Experienced providers have strategies for this. If the person is very resistant, some providers may suggest starting with shorter visits so the care recipient can get used to them, or having you stay nearby the first few times.

Can I use respite care if I'm not the primary caregiver?

Yes. Respite care is for anyone who needs a break from caregiving, whether you're a spouse, adult child, parent, sibling, or friend. You don't have to be the legal guardian or the person's medical decision-maker. You do need permission from whoever has legal authority over the care recipient's care — usually a healthcare proxy or power of attorney.

How do I know if a provider is trustworthy?

Ask whether they're licensed or certified (requirements vary by state and program type). Ask for references from other families they've worked with. Ask whether they do background checks on their staff. Ask whether they're bonded and insured. Check with your state's home care licensing board or adult protective services to see whether there are any complaints on file. Trust your gut — if something feels off during your first conversation, keep looking.

What should I leave written down for the provider on the first day?

Leave a one-page sheet with the care recipient's daily schedule, medication times and doses, emergency contacts, any behavioral or medical concerns, and what to do if something goes wrong. Leave it somewhere visible. Also leave your phone number, the doctor's phone number, and the number for poison control or your local emergency room. The more you write down, the less the provider has to remember or guess about.